DROWNING IN GOD

Each year, a few more people attend my blog
So that, suddenly, it starts filling up
And looks like I’m getting noticed.

Then, one day, everyone goes away –
Was it something I said?
This blog is whittling away my natural optimism –
Coming and going – chips flying.

My wife usually remembers to support me –
But one day I made a mistake in repeating an earlier blog –
How could she not notice?
Yet no one has that kind of memory.

I don’t sign the blog with my individual name
Because that’s unimportant –
Instead, I’m writing little notes to God
Who, I hope, appreciates the effort.

Writing, for me, is like being underwater
Then, suddenly surfacing –
Waiting for a bit, and then going back down,
Hoping to reach ecstasy before drowning –
Hoping it might be the same thing –
Drowning in God while dying in me.

THE EGO AS DOLL

Certainly, a cherished doll – more loved than your own mother –
More than wife or husband –
More than life itself.

That’s a pretty heavy “doll,” isn’t it?

It’s something we’re prohibited from thinking about –
With a self-reflection ratio of zero/zero –
To date, no religious laws permit transcending that prohibition –
No direct commandments of God either.

That’s because, historically speaking,
There’s been nothing more dangerous than looking at one’s self
Eyes wide open
Since you can’t do it without the ego shriveling up and “dying.”

Jesus taught this lesson every day of his life – until the very end –
He knew his ego self had to “die” for him to “see” God –
So, during his life, he “died” over and over again.

Not for you or me –
But because he needed it himself –
And, needing it, he realized everyone else needed it too.

To die to one’s “ego self” –
Not on a tree –
Not to provoke Jewish leaders or Roman governors –

But simply because it’s the only way
To become one’s “true self.”

A WORLD OF SPLINTERED MINDS

The poet “drowns” himself in beauty –
But this can never happen in the West – in the land of logical thinking.

The poet greets a flower on the dining room table
Which his wife placed there that morning – just before he arose.

The internet, on the other hand, never contains actual beauty
Because whatever’s there –
Isn’t real
And, since only the real is vulnerable to dying, only the real can truly be beautiful.

So, wake up – put down your iPhone –
Beauty, as the essence of God, is waiting everywhere – just for you.

Like I said, wake up, little one –
Then, wake up again!
Because beauty resides only in that second awakening.

The poet has “drowned” himself in beauty –
But, unfortunately, he’s asleep – and completely unaware of it –
This kind of “waking sleep” constitutes normal quotidian activity –
A mental “mirror” reflecting infinite numbers of digital mirrors –
But never, ever, an actual flower!

So, this all-encompassing electronic world, completely empty of natural beauty,
Will always be a world of splintered minds.

HER SLIGHTLY FADING BUT ALWAYS FAITHFUL LOVER

You wake up and, magically, you’ve become someone else –
Someplace else!

You can do this at least once in a lifetime –
As well as every day, and every second if you really want!

Falling asleep is traveling where the dreamgods live –
Falling asleep is where love can no longer even be imagined!

So, you need to wake up and, then, wake up once more
Awakening out of ordinary awakeness –
Listen, you can do this again
And again and again!

God keeps slapping you gently on the face, saying,
“Wake up, wake up, little one” –
And so you do, but only reluctantly.

Descending through God’s universe-sized face and approaching my wife of many years –
I see her smiling quizzically and starting to laugh –

Because she recognizes me –
She knows who I’ve always been
And has a good sense about who I’m about to become –

That is, her slightly fading but always faithful lover.