DROWNING IN GOD

Each year, a few more people attend my blog
So that, suddenly, it starts filling up
And looks like I’m getting noticed.

Then, one day, everyone goes away –
Was it something I said?
This blog is whittling away my natural optimism –
Coming and going – chips flying.

My wife usually remembers to support me –
But one day I made a mistake in repeating an earlier blog –
How could she not notice?
Yet no one has that kind of memory.

I don’t sign the blog with my individual name
Because that’s unimportant –
Instead, I’m writing little notes to God
Who, I hope, appreciates the effort.

Writing, for me, is like being underwater
Then, suddenly surfacing –
Waiting for a bit, and then going back down,
Hoping to reach ecstasy before drowning –
Hoping it might be the same thing –
Drowning in God while dying in me.

FREEDOM IS A BLANK SHEET

To lose everything might provide total freedom
But it doesn’t usually happen that way
Since a person can only lose one piece of themselves at a time.

Writing is freedom on a blank sheet
Without even a dot –
This sheet appears as empty as God
Who’s been busily filling everything in.

Love is like leaving a window open
So that, suddenly, if a bird flies in –
It’s the symbol of your heart returning home.

I keep tearing off pieces of myself
And tossing them out into the dark –
Pretty soon the night will be all lit up with me –
How embarrassing!

After a certain age, sex and gender start floating off –
What’s left is much greater freedom –
It’s what you’ll see when you get close enough to look directly at God
While, later in life, you start filling up with so much love
That you can’t hold onto anything else.

God is a surprise
Because you never see God coming –
Just don’t piss in your panties
When it happens.

CLAP HANDS

I want to clap hands
And with each clap initiate a separate universe.

I want to rain down beauty
So everyone can get “heart” wet.

I want to migrate with the birds
So I’ll be able to find my way back home.

I want to light a small fire in the hearth of my heart
And substitute a “pearl” for my everyday mind.

In Roman times, pearls were even rarer than diamonds
Because ancient mining industries moved mountains to produce them –
But it’s only when holding your breath while diving
That you’ll be able to discover the iridescent beauty hidden in those deep water shells.

The sun provides infinite life over almost infinite time –
But, someday, it will go out –
Truly, it’s only the green life that matters –
Everything else dross.

I’m dying to say one new word –
One that can never be forgotten –
God, why don’t you slide it across that green baize table
So that, when I turn it over, I can look surprised!

DISTANT TRAINS

Distant trains whistle low and away
While crows in the treetops are insisting upon their far greater importance.

Jesus says: “You’ve forgotten everything essential about me
Asserting I have the power to ‘save’ you –
When, actually, I don’t.”

Distant trains whistle low and away
Taking people to camps
The same people whose grandchildren have also created camps.

Crows in the treetops are insisting upon their importance
Like politicians who create unreality shows
Designed to lead fools by their noses
Down broad entertainment ramps to political slaughter.

It’s a show mindlessly conducted for a mindless audience
Performed with flourishes of rage and spit –
A show waged against conscious reality
So that God can never be seen.

These lives without beauty are tragic –
But they don’t seem to care
Since, to them, truth is just a commodity for rent
And love’s a word useful for marketing cars.

Yes, love is a word no one dares say anymore
Because it could be taken as a commitment –
And, if so, how could we get away –
Escape unreality –
Escape everything the charlatans have wanted us to accept?

WELCOME TO THE KINGDOM!

When you’re a baby, you’re the entire universe –
And there’s nothing else that matters but you.

You’re given a beautiful mother
Who takes care of all your needs –
So you never forget her face.

Then, slowly, surely, everything starts coming into focus
Until the day you’re finally able to see yourself –
Along with all your limitations.

The surprising pain associated with becoming aware of those limitations
Leads to constructing a fantasy “self”
That you can almost believe in –
A splendid “ego” useful for dressing up your more primitive, negligible self –
Someone capable of surviving and succeeding in this world.

Eventually, you become a “real” puppet – like Pinocchio –
Who can “pass” –
Manipulating the world from behind a curtain –
While it’s only in bad dreams you realize the rest of the world
Is the same as you –

Puppets!

You exist through an unreal “person” or “persona” –
Unaware of having an alternative, even if asked.

Entire religions are built around the existence of a few chosen people
Courageous enough or insane enough to become their “true selves.”

But established religions never explain it that way –
Instead, they say such people are “gods” or “super-beings” –
And that if you’re willing to turn yourself over to them, they’ll protect you –
Most especially, after you die –
And then you’ll be able to “live forever” – whatever that means.

Gurus and other hotshot spiritual hustlers
Ask who “you” are –
Knowing you’ll have no answer –
And that you’d have to “die” to obtain one – and there’s no chance of that ever happening!

Actually, it’s quite simple –
There are no religions or spiritual “masters” available to help you –
There’s only you.

To discover your “true self” you’ll need to give up everything
You are, have, and want to be –
And be willing to be your naked self – and then look at that!
Then drop that, and keep dropping all the that’s which subsequently appear –
Until there’s nothing left
Nothing, at all –

When you discover the magic of being “born again,” as Jesus recommended –
Even then, you’ll need to be very careful not to let this new state of being
Develop into a more advanced kind of Ego.

This is why humbleness comes first –
True humility –
Someone used to being overlooked.

Then, when you finally start breathing freely again –
When you can “see” actual reality,
Including, most importantly, the reality of “yourself.”

That’s when God will suddenly appear and say:
“Good job, little one,”
“Welcome to the Kingdom!”

“BOOM!”

Humans’ initial “true self” was an animal self –
That we didn’t have to think about because we were it.

Later on, in the Garden of Eden, shortly after choosing a fruit to eat,
Eve, upon becoming Homo sapiens, suddenly saw herself
And, as a result of this “seeing,” split in two –
Eve saw Eve!

God yelled that this was forbidden since she might lose her “self” –
That is, her animal self might be gone forever.

The consequences of Eve’s consciously looking at herself in this way
Was that she plunged irrevocably into a conscious world of work and suffering –
Where she was compelled to “see it all.”

Her immediate remedy to this suffering was to try to “re-make” her self.

Eve, looking at Eve, and shocked by the “nakedness” of what she saw –
Decided to design a “clothed” Eve –
Fashioned for survival in this harshly conscious world –
An ego “self” capable of taking cues from others –
Able to transform herself in a mental flash – or flashes –
Virtually, a “strobe” human being.

But, ultimately, this failed because Eve’s ego was a self-made “mask”
With no real life of its own.

To become a “true self” as a human being,
One has to give up the post-animal “ego self”
And become “no thing” – just like God –
While remaining human – certainly not by trying to become God.

A “no thing” human is able to act in the same way God would act if God were human –
Committed to embodying the highest spiritual standards –
Performing a “spiritual dance”
Related to the reverse-particle explosion of joy –
“Boom!”
Experienced at the very beginning.

HOW EVE BECAME GOD AND SAVED THE WORLD

At first, Eve was a happy animal –
But one day she ate a piece of fruit
And, spontaneously, split in two.

Instantaneously as a result of this split,
She found herself outside the garden
Looking back at her happy self still inside.

She experienced herself “naked” – out in a tough world –
The fault of her newly-found “consciousness” –
A “mixed power” she had acquired through “seeing herself.”

Of course, the story doesn’t end there –
There’s both good and bad in the gift of consciousness –
For example, she was able to trick all the still unconscious beings
And take anything she wanted –
But it didn’t take long for them to join her in this newly conscious world.

After thousands of years of humans tricking one another
And getting pretty much nowhere –
One day, one of Eve’s descendants decided to “become herself” – i.e., her “true self”
And stop working so hard at trying to trick the rest of the world.

This descendant became her true self by mimicking “God” in human form,
And, as a result, became willing to lead human beings out of their ego-delimited world –
But, just before she could accomplish this,
Adam intervened by saying: “Get back, woman!”
The world is not finished with tricky male egos yet”
We still have a long way to go” –
Adam enforced this command with a warehouse full of iron patriarchal laws,
Male-preferenced customs, and an infinity of direct and indirect physical threats.

This worked!
So well, that Eve was compelled to step back from her new God-gifted freedom,
And, as a consequence, the world fell into Male-Ego Hell –
Which eventually got so bad that even Adam began to get scared
And thought he might want to invite Eve back into a more active role –
But Eve said “No” –
“Not me.” “Not now” – “unless and until you admit you’ve been a jerk” –
“And a violent jerk, at that!” –
Adam refused to admit this, and so the entire world died.

The end.

An alternative ending is Adam did admit he’d been a jerk –
And allowed Eve to re-gain her freedom –
Free, she looked around, and thought, again, it might be time for her to embody God –
But only the kind of God a woman could believe in:

A God closer to Nature –
A loving and family-friendly God –
A truthful God.

This God was entirely a female creation –
So that when Eve determined that her God was “good”
She was able to immediately step into her waiting role.

Eve became God, as a human being, much like Jesus had done in the past –
And, as a consequence, took her turn at saving the world!

The result was that men eventually became happier (even if reluctantly),
And the earth and all its other inhabitants – animal, vegetable, or mineral –
Were saved
Because Adam was willing to step aside
And allow Eve to become the kind of “God,” in human form, she best understood.

Now, all the beings on earth live happily, including all the Eves and Adams –

This is the second, and fortunately happy, ending.

THE VALUE OF INTERMITTENT ENLIGHTENMENT

Talking over some earlier posts with my brilliant wife
She pointed out that complete enlightenment –
By achieving “no one” or “no thing” – was too abstract for her
And that she, as a woman, couldn’t “feel” the reality of that kind of existence.

I gave her examples, including Jesus and the Buddha, but she rightly countered
That women with families and worldly obligations
Wouldn’t be attracted to becoming “no one”
And that such “freedom,” even if achievable, would be meaningless to most people.

This made me think she might be right.

So I reflected further, and determined I should not be arguing
For achieving complete and absolute enlightenment –
That is, for people to become “god-like,” in imitation of Jesus or the Buddha,
But, instead, an enlightenment that’s more like the periodic use of a physics equation (e = mc2),
But, in spiritual terms, a formula showing (“no ego” = “no one”) –
Available for use, intermittently, that is, whenever one actually needs it.

I believe that enlightenment is available to everyone on this planet –
But, thanks to my wife’s critical observation
I no longer think it’s an “all or nothing” enlightenment –
But rather enlightenment available for use at critical junctures in our lives
So that important life decisions can be made at the highest, best level –
Individually, as well as for those desiring to affect the world as a whole.

The first, and most important, step in this formula
Is to become conscious of one’s ego self
Because, without an objective view of oneself, nothing else is possible –
This is not an insignificant step because it’s where people face the most resistance –
Taking that “first look” – since almost no one dares it –
But if you do have sufficient courage to look directly at yourself,
You’ll be able to see the puppet you’ve become (and that everyone else can see) –
And then, if you wish, decide you don’t want to be a self-driven puppet –
At least during that precise next moment – given what’s immediately facing you.

Of course, a lifelong attachment to one’s ego is not easy to efface–
So you don’t – all that happens is you become aware
That you can, consciously and contemporaneously, look at yourself,
See what you’re actually doing at that moment,
And then decide whether or not you want to do something entirely different.

That is, you don’t have to helplessly continue along the path
Of embodying the ego your mother so loved
Or that your friends and world have accepted as being “you” –
Instead, at this critical juncture, you can simply look at yourself and say “No” –
I want to do something else – something my heart and mind agree upon –
Something my “true self” has decided.

This “true self,” later on, may itself come to appear somewhat limited
Even though it’s infinitely superior to that former ego “puppet” –
Limited in the sense of not having all the freedom God possesses –
If you want that kind of high, almost infinite freedom – you have to take the next step –
And, again, through the use of our spiritual formula – become “no body” or “no thing” –
Asking, at this particular inflection point, “What would God do?
Not as an all-powerful being –
But as a vulnerable human being called upon to act as God would act if God were human –
And then, do it!
After all, this is what Jesus had been able to do!

This is what I’m saying anyone can do any time they want
Through the use of intermittent enlightenment.

Most of the time, people, including myself, act only through their ego selves –
For example, when eating, going to the bathroom, or talking quietly with friends –
But the possibility of acting through one’s “higher self” is always present
And can be acted upon at critical life-changing moments.
You don’t need to use this knowledge, this ability, solely for saving the world
Like Jesus or the Buddha (since you’d probably get killed for having such presumption) –
I’m saying that you can use this hard-earned spiritual ability to consciously see yourself
And then make a decision about what you really want to do –
Anytime, anyplace you decide.

This is the singular value of having access to intermittent enlightenment –
You can have it whenever you actually need it!

This is my gift to you, dear one –
The realization that you can be as enlightened as Jesus, Buddha, or Socrates –
Not for saving the world – but for use in ordinary, but important to you,
Day-to-day life situations.

By the way, all enlightened beings – including Jesus, Buddha, Mohammed, and Socrates,
Were never enlightened during every moment of their lives –
History captured them as acting at specific critical moments at their highest, best level –
And then spotlighted that period as being a permanent condition.
But, actually, it was only an intermittent moment – even for them –
Remember, the spotlight of faith and history bounces off
The highest, most critically important moments experienced by humanity –
Which is not the same as actual ongoing reality.

All of them were human, just like you and I are,
But they could and did act at critical moments with the ultimate freedom of God –

Just like you and I can also!

DANCE

The supreme physical expression of human joy
Is dance.

God (including all earlier gods) requested dance first
Before images, ideas, and all other expressions of worship.

First was the foot
Then the hand
And, finally, the head.

Dance expresses joy in life
And the immanence of God in our hearts,
Along with a strong desire for physically moving with others.

Dance is how children express their happiness
With spontaneous movements.

I think it’s important to become aware of dance going on all around us –
Especially that of our sky neighbors – the birds.

Also, watch patterns of waves forming over large bodies of water –
Watch wind as it touches, and then re-touches, forest leaves.

Notice the small shy smile appearing on your lover’s face
And your joy, in response, when you give your feelings permission to shine.

Why not give that permission right now
After all, the entire world depends upon it!

 

UNCOVERING THE NUMINOUS LATER IN LIFE

Everything both is, and is not, “numinous” –
Depending upon which set of eyes you’re looking through –
The trick is to remember which ones you’re using at any given moment
So, when “holy time” arrives, you can wake up out of your ordinary eyes.

Sometimes, God gently touches (or slaps) your face –
So you wake up
And, suddenly, everything becomes numinous.

One’s ego, however, never engages with the numinous
Because the ego, by nature, is trapped inside itself for its own protection
And so neversees” God –
Which is why all the world religions, historically, have never been very effective.

Freedom provides a broad opening into the numinous –
– Freedom from self, from “God,” and from everything else –
Such freedom is so radical, it’s equivalent to dying –
And, then, dying a second time!

Permission granted –
Now you’re able to “see”
A single object – numinously!

But, one day, the whole world will open itself up to you in this same way –
An experience like going a trillion miles an hour
In pure silence.