At first, Eve was a happy animal –
But one day she ate a piece of fruit
And, spontaneously, split in two.
Instantaneously as a result of this split,
She found herself outside the garden
Looking back at her happy self still inside.
She experienced herself “naked” – out in a tough world –
The fault of her newly-found “consciousness” –
A “mixed power” she had acquired through “seeing herself.”
Of course, the story doesn’t end there –
There’s both good and bad in the gift of consciousness –
For example, she was able to trick all the still unconscious beings
And take anything she wanted –
But it didn’t take long for them to join her in this newly conscious world.
After thousands of years of humans tricking one another
And getting pretty much nowhere –
One day, one of Eve’s descendants decided to “become herself” – i.e., her “true self”
And stop working so hard at trying to trick the rest of the world.
This descendant became her true self by mimicking “God” in human form,
And, as a result, became willing to lead human beings out of their ego-delimited world –
But, just before she could accomplish this,
Adam intervened by saying: “Get back, woman!”
“The world is not finished with tricky male egos yet” –
“We still have a long way to go” –
Adam enforced this command with a warehouse full of iron patriarchal laws,
Male-preferenced customs, and an infinity of direct and indirect physical threats.
So well, that Eve was compelled to step back from her new God-gifted freedom,
And, as a consequence, the world fell into Male-Ego Hell –
Which eventually got so bad that even Adam began to get scared
And thought he might want to invite Eve back into a more active role –
But Eve said “No” –
“Not me.” “Not now” – “unless and until you admit you’ve been a jerk” –
“And a violent jerk, at that!” –
Adam refused to admit this, and so the entire world died.
An alternative ending is Adam did admit he’d been a jerk –
And allowed Eve to re-gain her freedom –
Free, she looked around, and thought, again, it might be time for her to embody God –
But only the kind of God a woman could believe in:
A God closer to Nature –
A loving and family-friendly God –
A truthful God.
This God was entirely a female creation –
So that when Eve determined that her God was “good”
She was able to immediately step into her waiting role.
Eve became God, as a human being, much like Jesus had done in the past –
And, as a consequence, took her turn at saving the world!
The result was that men eventually became happier (even if reluctantly),
And the earth and all its other inhabitants – animal, vegetable, or mineral –
Because Adam was willing to step aside
And allow Eve to become the kind of “God,” in human form, she best understood.
Now, all the beings on earth live happily, including all the Eves and Adams –
This is the second, and fortunately happy, ending.