EXCHANGING EGO FOR ONE’S TRUE SELF

Some say the most profound scientific discipline is theoretical physics which vastly expanded our understanding of the structure of the physical universe, using the language of mathematics, but I think, now, this needs to be transcended by an even more fundamental spiritual/theological discipline which furthers a deeper understanding of God and human beings through the expansion of consciousness of love, truth, justice, and beauty as expressed through arts and literature. Materialistic evolution, i.e., science and technology, has taken us about as far as humanity’s ever going to get, spiritually, but the prospects for our species will turn out to be pretty grim if that’s the full extent of what we, as humans, are ever going to achieve.

Isn’t it time for humans to make a conscious, species-wide, choice about which of these evolutionary paths we should take: materialistic evolution (including artificial intelligence) or the next step in our human spiritual evolution.

Greater spirituality, however, won’t necessarily increase our intelligence or ability to manipulate the material world, but might, eventually, evolve us into an entirely different type of humanity –  the kind earlier pointed us towards by Jesus, Buddha, Mohammed, and Laozi.

            When a person enters the world, as a baby, they’re totally open to God – arriving as pure energy in human form. Because babies come straight from God, they’re completely natural upon arrival. After that surprise landing in the world, however, they need to figure out how to survive in a particular time and place. Eventually they do, but the cost can be high. They’re faced with the necessity of becoming the kind of person other people readily recognize and like, as well as this child’s surrounding culture use. Since, usually, they’re raised by their parents – people who’ve already made the requisite compromises and adjustments – this baby, ultimately, learns how to “fit in.”

The baby, though, who started life as a tiny energy “sun,” eventually begins to “dim” because so much of their original natural energy can be perceived as “alien” by her family’s world. Eventually, however, the baby matures and becomes a “person” by developing its ego –ultimately joining society. One day, however, this very baby – after attaining adulthood – might begin wondering where all her previous God-like energy has gone – and whether it can ever be regained.

In traditional societies, a person’s roles remain largely the same throughout their life and also determines how their own children turn out.

In more modern societies, however, by early adulthood, a person usually can gain various abilities and opportunities that allow them to change “who” they are – through their “individual” choices – which can lead them away from their predestined family roles and enable them to become, partly, a family-destined person and partly a self-determined one – as a “composite” role. Nevertheless, whatever this mixed role ends up turning out to be, it’s still, ultimately, a role.

All roles, whether traditional, composite, or fully modern, are included in one’s “life story.” As Shakespeare wrote in As You Like It: “All the world’s a stage, and all the men and women merely players.” So, the problem with developing an “ego,” along with an  accompanying “life story,” is the temptation to “make up” the story as one goes along – like living inside a self-made dramatic film – even though this is usually carried out, mainly, unconsciously.

Another problem with “roles” is their need for consistency and continuity, so the self, seemingly, remains the “same.”

This is why much “higher” values are necessary to effect real change in these quotidian roles and ongoing stories. Traditionally, humanity’s highest values are attributable to a “Holy Spirit” (usually identified as “God”) – as well as to other divine attributes such as love, truth, justice, and beauty.

Roles and their accompanying stories compel us to live as unfree. Since we believe these roles and stories (reinforced by the surrounding society) constitute our “identity,” we sometimes believe we need to “die” as the price for achieving real freedom. Frequently, if a person is threatened with losing their identity, they think they might as well be dead. That’s how important roles and personal stories are for normal human beings. In fact, there’s a general consensus in the humanities, as well as in psychotherapy, that the ego, as a person’s chief fictional character, is one’s essential self.

So, how do we free ourselves from such embedded roles and stories making up our “ego,” which obstructs our “natural” human self-understanding and also closes down our spontaneous thoughts and gain the freedom necessary to become our “true selves”?

The answer is we have to be “born again” – at any age! That is, we need to reverse direction, spiritually, and become a “child” all over again in order to become as free as God.

Jesus himself said this, did this, and then voluntarily diedto show us how.

To be “born again” is scary – and very few of us are able to do it all at once. Most people need time to shed their artificial roles to become free enough to make a long and daring leap to their “true selves.” Starting at an older age, however, it’s actually easier to move towards a higher spirituality by breaking up and discarding pieces of one’s earlier “false selves,” gaining the greater naturalness and openness that’s spiritually necessary to achieve one’s “true self” –  even though, at the same time, by necessity, we’re also inevitably becoming physically frailer and weaker.

PURE CONSCIOUSNESS

When I came to understand more clearly the difference between my ego (or false self) and my “true self,” and then looked at various ways I might reach that “true self,” especially by becoming a “nobody,” I was stumped as to what this would actually mean in terms of human experience.

            I thought I’d do some research on work done in academia on the “self” and discovered Galen Strawson, a philosopher famous for studying the nature of consciousness or the “self.”

            Strawson writes that pure uninterrupted consciousness lasts only about one-third of a second to three seconds – which has recently been modified by Fei Fei Li to an interval as brief as a blink. That’s not to say that this period of consciousness can’t be renewed and extended by follow-up thoughts. Strawson thought, though, that turning a succession of thoughts into a narrative story is not necessary to be truly human. I agree with Strawson that it’s in a pure consciousness experience where we actually exist as our “true self.” That this experience, not one influenced by established “roles” or self-edited “movies” or “stories,” is where the “true self” actually exists. And, if this “true self” can be directed through our best understanding of an “alive” God, then we’ll be able to “see” and “act” through God’s eyes and mind after developing the “tools” which help us see and think like God would see and think if God were a human being – as if God were actually one’s self. Such principal tools of God include love, truth, justice, and beauty.

            Of course, it’s important to gain the freedom to become one’s “true self,” by using our own intrinsic freedom – the freedom God originally gave us at birth – but which we, unfortunately, and all too often, relinquish during the periods when we’re busy developing our egos into false selves.

            Remember, once you achieve becoming “nobody,” it’s only then that you’re able to become your “true self” – anytime you want. Just imagine the power of that – to be able to see through God’s eyes, experience life through God’s mind and soul, and, then, be able to act as God would act if God were a human being – that is, as if God were you.

NOBODY

Recognizing the need to get rid of one’s ego in order to reach our “true self,” I started thinking about the women medieval mystics, like, most importantly, Marguerite Porete, and Hadewijch and Mechthild, as well as, more recently, Emily Dickinson and Simone Weill, all of whom talked about becoming “nobody” or “no one” – which was necessary to approach God directly. They wrote from a state of true humbleness (because a lot of pride can be hidden behind a false face of humility). They traveled all the way to zero – to nonbeing – completely disappearing. And then looked back towards the world – where others thought that such a move was nonsensical, and yet they, repeatedly, affirmed this.

            I began thinking their approach had a lot to do with freedom – that to escape one’s ego (as well as that ego’s “God”), we have to get free of our “old self,” free of old ideas and assumptions about “life” and the “world” – and so, becoming “nobody,” might do the trick!

            To achieve a place where there’s only oneself and an impending meeting with God (or the Holy). And then wait.

            The promise is that, out of this nothing, God is able to arrive – even through loneliness or depression – if you just wait, God will arrive – in a supersonic jet of joy.

            Immediately after, when one opens one’s eyes, we’ll find ourselves looking through “fresh eyes,” that is, a newborn’s eyes, and what you’re able to see and experience at that moment is exactly what God is seeing and experiencing – through your own eyes – as if you are God and God is you.

            This is what Jesus was able to do and why some people spontaneously followed him, while others wanted to kill him, because the former were filled with a joy like they’d never experienced before, and the latter, on their part, became angry that any human being would dare  become this kind of person.

IT’S TIME TO WAKE UP

Going to church once a week can be helpful –
So, let’s think about going inside
And resting our souls in God.

We need this weekly reminder
Because, now, there’s just too much outside noise in our quotidian lives.

Rising up into the sky
And, then, looking down –
We’re like bees going to work –
There’s not too much reality up there, however – so far from the blossoms –
It’s only when coming back down into our “true selves”
That everything, suddenly, becomes real – and we’re able to taste the sweetness.

As I get older – I go higher –
And looking down, see me –
So small and distant –
I have lots of emotions when observing my “true self.”

It’s where, eventually, ego fades,
And my true self appears in all its glorious colors.

Suddenly, a door opens for God to enter –
Calling out for the “me” – who’s actually there.

God says, since you’re already here,
It’s time to come home –
It’s time for you to, finally, wake up.

NO THING IS GOD

No thing is God –
Which is why God’s completely free –
Beyond all known and unknown categories.

Fei Fei Li counted those categories – at least 20,000+ types of images –
Which she had labeled
So her machines could “see” them.

Fei Fei created a machine-controlled “God” –
Which, actually, wasn’t God –
Because no one can “own” God.

God is watching over Fei Fei and all other humans attempting to re-create God
Into a “known” and “controlled” God –
God is appalled, yet expectant.

Beyond things, there is no thing –
Beyond control, lies chaos –
And, apparently, love might even disappear.

After those 20,000 images – comes time –
Which is presently expiring –
Yet, sometimes, time can start all over again.

All “things” exist in space –
Flickering on and off –
As well as within time
Which might not exist.

God thinks this is so funny
Humans re-creating everything that, in actuality, already exists,
For use inside artificial machines.

This is certainly something to look into and wonder about.

SOUL WORK

How is it possible to work on what we no longer believe in –
The word “soul” having become archaic and anachronistic –
Western Civilization placing it to one side at least 500 years ago.

Children still understand souls however –
As the unique selves in which they live and play –
Children know all about heart shrines
And wishes that really come true.

A soul is what we like to say is:
“God within us.” 

Having a soul means that, as a mature human being,
We’re authorized to marry God –
Folding supreme love inside a white handkerchief
Placed next to our hearts.

One’s soul is priceless –
Which is why we’re so tempted to give it away for free.

One’s soul is completely free –
Just like God is free –
And love.

The soul is a jewel beyond value –
A spiritual dream which, over time, becomes real –
And nearer to us than our closest living relative.

The soul is actually me – if I want to claim it –
And I do want that.

God, please, please, free my soul –
Just like you promised us so long ago.

IS GOD TELEOLOGICAL?

I think: Yes and No.

God sees and works towards creating God –
Where there is no God.

God is always creating God
Out of No God and No Thing.

God sees where God is going
Even when blind as a bug.

It’s just a “sense” of God
In the midst of evil and ignorance –
That God “just knows” whether God is present or not.

God starts out being God
And ends up as God –
But, along the way, God “knows” where God is going
By saying “Yes” to all evidences of God
And “No” to any absence of God.

Human beings are able to do this as well
Through an almost infinite series of life choices –

So, stop, and think –
“Is it God or something helpful to God –
If “Yes” then wholeheartedly accept it
If “No” – drop it immediately and run away.

God always comes
By being here already.

RECOGNIZING CRITICAL LIFE CHOICES

Some choices are as critical as one’s birth –
But you’ll have to “wake up” to recognize when such a choice
Has come knocking at your door.

Most of the time, however, people don’t choose –
Since the choice has already been made for them by parents,
Friends, teachers, or simply arise out of “what comes next.”

But if you do “wake up” and become faced with a true choice –
Whether being “born” – the first or any subsequent time –
Your take it – because God doesn’t hand out such choices
Freely
Even if the choice, when it appears, turns out to be completely free.

For some people, a choice arrives
When falling in love
Either with another person or by the surprising appearance of reality –
Since how else could you find yourself outside yourself –
That is, outside family, society – and all the dreams of your peculiar culture.

If it turns out, however, that you’ve been too lazy to look
Unfortunately, you won’t be able to discover any true choice –
Since when such a choice comes along, you won’t recognize it –
It’ll seem just like any other thing –
Quickly submerging
Beneath the waters of consciousness.

GOD’S ALIVE AND SO HAS THE ABILITY TO CHANGE

If God is sentient – being alive –
God can change.

Is changing now – just as you read this.

God is not an ancient immovable statue placed up on high
To be worshipped –
God continually changes right before our eyes.

Also, God is placeless and so is similar to Nature –
Alive at every level –
Even in our imagination.

God embodies a Spirit that breathes
Like the tides –
Like hummingbird hearts –
Or rain pelting down onto our faces.

God knows what we think
Before that thought ever surfaces into our consciousness.

God understands the beginning – as well as the end –
While cherishing middle lives.

For example, God immediately was aware of my grandchild, Jules –
Before I ever placed a foot on the second-floor staircase –
Before I turned on the whole-house fan –
Before I even asked my wife to be my wife – the first time.

Jules existed way back then –
Centered directly in God’s loving eyes.

THE INTERCONNECTIVITY BETWEEN SELF AND GOD

Artificial selves worship artificial gods
While the search for one’s “true self”
Has to end up discovering a true God.

Accepting one’s family imprint on one’s self –
Or society’s imprint –
Or even the imprint of a small circle of artist friends –
Invariably leads into a room captioned “religion”
With an exclusive set of beliefs.

God, however, is wild –
More so even than Nature itself –
At all levels – particles through galaxies.

God obviously cannot be held in hand like a medallion –
To be sworn upon –
And there’s no pictures either.

God is invisible – lives nowhere –
And always is a surprise to us –
Like the wind
Which arises so suddenly –
Carrying oceanic flavors.

God is Love –
Waiting as long as you need.

Yes, the ultimate truth about God
Is that God is willing to wait for us!